March 4, 2015
Gah! Where is the time going…in some ways it can't go fast enough (I'm fully anticipating and waiting anxiously for spring so these kiddos can go outside in the sunshine) and other times it just flies by. Our little man is now 13 months and a lot has been happening. More on that later…I just need to collect a few thoughts so someday I can look back on these days and appreciate the chaos.
I have been an awful mom this week. I'd give anything for a do-over. Of every day. I'm just short-tempered, cranky, distracted and completely impatient. I feel like I've had way too many moments of frustration and trying to escape and not enough moments of just enjoying these kiddos where they are at.
Let me paint a picture of my week so that I can look back someday and never forget. :) Sunday-Jackson is diagnosed with strep…which means, even though he is feeling fine (fantastic) is probably more appropriate by Monday morning, he must stay home as not to expose other children. This is completely understandable, but trying to corral and keep 6 year old energetic Jackson on the couch 'resting' all day when he feels fine leads to madness. Addie Rose isn't accustomed to him being home during the day so this really throws her off…Lots of screaming, breaking up fights, etc. Monday done…I crawl into bed hating the attitude and unhappiness I carried around all day.
Day two. Ice storm. Two hour late start at school and my office. God's gift to us. Seriously heavenly to have two extra hours in the morning…This day was an improvement. Maybe it had something to do with me going to work? Agh-awful to think. But the time away from them made it so much easier when I was around them at night. We laughed, danced in the kitchen…a lot. It was truly fun.
Today. Bad day. First off, I'm up with Asher this morning and in his fit of rage in the early hours (he seriously is a happy kid but for some reason he always wakes up in the morning SCREAMING bloody murder) Michael greeted me the reminder "Please get our son so he doesn't wake the other two" and so I jumped out of bed and foolishly started my day without first getting on my knees like I've been trying to every morning during Lent. Strike One. I didn't start off on the right foot.
Second fun part of my day: show up to a follow up ENT appt only to wait 45 minutes (appt at 9:00) before I finally go up to the front desk and ask politely if we will be seen anytime soon. To which I get, "Oh yeah-I'll get you back there"…Luckily the doctor was VERY apologetic which made it all okay…but still…this made the internal temperature rise a little bit. Strike 2.
On to the oil change…we are past the scheduled time because of above delayed doctors appointment so we are a) hungry and b) in DESPERATE need of a nap…while simultaneously destroying the waiting room of Carx and finding out that we haven't rotated out brand new tires enough thus they are being ruined and we can't rotate them anymore I'm beginning to loose patience…needless to say we finish there and head home…
To try on the nap thing. Asher naps…and Addie does not. Strike 3. Little did I know how much this would impact the rest of my day. Upon Jackson's coming home from school I decide to take a very fussy Asher in for an appt thinking he may have caught Jackson's strep…only the kids doc is full so we head over to urgent care. And of course, on the five minute drive to Urgent Care…Addie Rose falls asleep. So I'm carrying her into the docs office while Jackson attempts to carry Asher…whom he has to place on the ground (without shoes) THREE times on the way in because he is so close to dropping him. A lady politely rolls down her window from the handicap stall and says-"You need a handicap sticker"…Lol. Not exactly sure what that meant…
We get into the room quickly and end up waiting awhile for the strep culture. I'm sure it was only ten minutes but if felt like 35. Now mind you, this wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't spent the morning waiting in the docs office…meanwhile…trying to keep three little ones contained in a room with shiny equipment that looks like toys to them and not allow them to just veg in front of my phone is a challenge. I finally caved…and decided I would hold my phone so that they could watch a show together…well THIS was unsatisfactory for little miss Addie Rose who screamed at the top of her lungs for the next four minutes. Nothing was stopping her. And I didn't cave…oh I'm sure those nurses outside were having a heyday with this one…
Finally we find out his strep is negative. Good deal. Time to move on to dance class…only dance is about twenty minutes from now…going home would break up the momentum…so I decide to go for a little drive (I do this often, kids are locked in place and I can just breath a little bit)…except upon arriving at dance class I look back to see that Addie Rose has, yet again, fallen asleep. (this is when I'm kicking myself for not enforcing the nap back home)…so again I'm having to wake a sleeping and unhappy Addie Rose and expect her to dance. We walk into the studio (I'm carrying both at this point) and as I place crying Addie down I realize that Asher has completely soaked through his clothes (no back up clothes at this point). Addie refuses to let me put her down. Once again my dear friend Amy saves me. She swoops in and takes Asher to change him…I attempt to get Addie ready for dance to no avail. Except when I tell her we will just go home she refuses that option (she really likes dance but the abrupt wakeup just doesn't bode well for her). So after her screaming in the dance studio waiting room for five minutes I finally take her outside and threaten to go home. She agrees to dance…meanwhile I'm bringing her back to the room to see some woman I've never met holding my half naked Asher. :) Thank God for other moms. Meanwhile Asher gets to wear his big sisters jeans because he has no other option…
But she danced…the boys played and all ended well. I may not have had a lot of patience by the time the night came but it's amazing what a good quiet time (thank you Lord) and a little solitude can do for the soul…and a little perspective. I was reminded tonight that all that time spent in the waiting rooms of those doctors was only for little hiccups…and for my healthy kids…could be a LOT worse…I had images of other parents who sit in waiting rooms expecting bad news…or taking their kids to deal with terminal disease…
and I am grateful.
I have a beautiful family…wild, crazy, chaotic…and I may not be the best mom every day…but day by day I grow into appreciation of every moment…good or bad in this little family of ours…and I'm truly thankful. :)
I have been an awful mom this week. I'd give anything for a do-over. Of every day. I'm just short-tempered, cranky, distracted and completely impatient. I feel like I've had way too many moments of frustration and trying to escape and not enough moments of just enjoying these kiddos where they are at.
Let me paint a picture of my week so that I can look back someday and never forget. :) Sunday-Jackson is diagnosed with strep…which means, even though he is feeling fine (fantastic) is probably more appropriate by Monday morning, he must stay home as not to expose other children. This is completely understandable, but trying to corral and keep 6 year old energetic Jackson on the couch 'resting' all day when he feels fine leads to madness. Addie Rose isn't accustomed to him being home during the day so this really throws her off…Lots of screaming, breaking up fights, etc. Monday done…I crawl into bed hating the attitude and unhappiness I carried around all day.
Day two. Ice storm. Two hour late start at school and my office. God's gift to us. Seriously heavenly to have two extra hours in the morning…This day was an improvement. Maybe it had something to do with me going to work? Agh-awful to think. But the time away from them made it so much easier when I was around them at night. We laughed, danced in the kitchen…a lot. It was truly fun.
Today. Bad day. First off, I'm up with Asher this morning and in his fit of rage in the early hours (he seriously is a happy kid but for some reason he always wakes up in the morning SCREAMING bloody murder) Michael greeted me the reminder "Please get our son so he doesn't wake the other two" and so I jumped out of bed and foolishly started my day without first getting on my knees like I've been trying to every morning during Lent. Strike One. I didn't start off on the right foot.
Second fun part of my day: show up to a follow up ENT appt only to wait 45 minutes (appt at 9:00) before I finally go up to the front desk and ask politely if we will be seen anytime soon. To which I get, "Oh yeah-I'll get you back there"…Luckily the doctor was VERY apologetic which made it all okay…but still…this made the internal temperature rise a little bit. Strike 2.
On to the oil change…we are past the scheduled time because of above delayed doctors appointment so we are a) hungry and b) in DESPERATE need of a nap…while simultaneously destroying the waiting room of Carx and finding out that we haven't rotated out brand new tires enough thus they are being ruined and we can't rotate them anymore I'm beginning to loose patience…needless to say we finish there and head home…
To try on the nap thing. Asher naps…and Addie does not. Strike 3. Little did I know how much this would impact the rest of my day. Upon Jackson's coming home from school I decide to take a very fussy Asher in for an appt thinking he may have caught Jackson's strep…only the kids doc is full so we head over to urgent care. And of course, on the five minute drive to Urgent Care…Addie Rose falls asleep. So I'm carrying her into the docs office while Jackson attempts to carry Asher…whom he has to place on the ground (without shoes) THREE times on the way in because he is so close to dropping him. A lady politely rolls down her window from the handicap stall and says-"You need a handicap sticker"…Lol. Not exactly sure what that meant…
We get into the room quickly and end up waiting awhile for the strep culture. I'm sure it was only ten minutes but if felt like 35. Now mind you, this wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't spent the morning waiting in the docs office…meanwhile…trying to keep three little ones contained in a room with shiny equipment that looks like toys to them and not allow them to just veg in front of my phone is a challenge. I finally caved…and decided I would hold my phone so that they could watch a show together…well THIS was unsatisfactory for little miss Addie Rose who screamed at the top of her lungs for the next four minutes. Nothing was stopping her. And I didn't cave…oh I'm sure those nurses outside were having a heyday with this one…
Finally we find out his strep is negative. Good deal. Time to move on to dance class…only dance is about twenty minutes from now…going home would break up the momentum…so I decide to go for a little drive (I do this often, kids are locked in place and I can just breath a little bit)…except upon arriving at dance class I look back to see that Addie Rose has, yet again, fallen asleep. (this is when I'm kicking myself for not enforcing the nap back home)…so again I'm having to wake a sleeping and unhappy Addie Rose and expect her to dance. We walk into the studio (I'm carrying both at this point) and as I place crying Addie down I realize that Asher has completely soaked through his clothes (no back up clothes at this point). Addie refuses to let me put her down. Once again my dear friend Amy saves me. She swoops in and takes Asher to change him…I attempt to get Addie ready for dance to no avail. Except when I tell her we will just go home she refuses that option (she really likes dance but the abrupt wakeup just doesn't bode well for her). So after her screaming in the dance studio waiting room for five minutes I finally take her outside and threaten to go home. She agrees to dance…meanwhile I'm bringing her back to the room to see some woman I've never met holding my half naked Asher. :) Thank God for other moms. Meanwhile Asher gets to wear his big sisters jeans because he has no other option…
But she danced…the boys played and all ended well. I may not have had a lot of patience by the time the night came but it's amazing what a good quiet time (thank you Lord) and a little solitude can do for the soul…and a little perspective. I was reminded tonight that all that time spent in the waiting rooms of those doctors was only for little hiccups…and for my healthy kids…could be a LOT worse…I had images of other parents who sit in waiting rooms expecting bad news…or taking their kids to deal with terminal disease…
and I am grateful.
I have a beautiful family…wild, crazy, chaotic…and I may not be the best mom every day…but day by day I grow into appreciation of every moment…good or bad in this little family of ours…and I'm truly thankful. :)
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