The Best I Can

Today I was not a very good mom.  Gahh.. I had some frustrating moments.  I yelled a little bit too much.  I ignored my kids and escaped behind a screen.  I was fed up, tired, and a little emotional.

But when I tucked Jackson into to bed tonight I told him I was sorry.  He wasn't perfect today either.  In fact, he probably has a few apologies coming my way.  But I'm not holding my breath for those.  You see he is 4 years old.  And I'm the adult.  I can do what I do to direct, discipline and steer him...but he is still a child.  He's testing boundaries, he's experimenting with limits and he has an endless curiosity that sometimes doesn't match my plans for the day.

He's the child.  I'm the adult.  I'm not beating myself up about today.  It's not the first, nor the last time that I will have a short fuse with my kiddos.  The beauty is that with every nights darkness comes a rising sun that offers a new chance, a fresh start and a new perspective.  I don't expect to be a perfect parent.  Nor do I really want to be.  I pray that my humble apology to him today that went something like this, "I'm sorry Jackson that I got so frustrated with you today, I just need you to listen a little bit better," will at least teach him the value of humility and forgiveness...and show him that although we make mistakes there is always opportunity for growth.

And I pray, as I close my eyes tonight, that maybe he just listens a little bit better tomorrow.  :)