Love's Reality

Tonight this sweet little boy you see above told me he didn't love me.  This is the first time this has happened.  It went a little something like this.  I took the kids straight to the Family Museum after Jackson's preschool.  I knew I needed to get us out of the house on our last full day and evening before Michael returns.  I packed snacks and we headed off to the Museum...They are currently doing renovations and had some 'drop-in' art classes.  We went to check them out and found one that had a clay wheel.  Jackson and Addie waited patiently for about a half hour and I let Jackson purchase the experience of throwing clay.  He loved it.  Then we headed downstairs and played for awhile.  About the time we needed to leave, I warned Jackson.  Three times.  Then I said it was time to go.  Addie was on the verge of melting down.  I warned Jackson again, this time, hitting him where it hurts with the threat of taking away his Spiderman glove and jammies.  He continued to remain unmotivated to get his coat on and head out the door.  At the moment that Addie started to scream I told Jackson that was it, no Spiderman jammies tonight.

He looked up at me, stomped his foot and said, "I don't love you ever mom."  And he continued to repeat it.  When we got in the car he said, "Even when your happy I won't love you mom."

And you know what, I was un-phased.  Gosh as I reflect on it I should have been livid.  I was more upset with his behavior than the words that came from his mouth.  You would think that hearing your child say, "I don't love you ever." :) for the first time would break your heart...and there was a part of my heart that was saddened that we are entering that phase....but as I think about it...I think I caught a glimpse of what the Father's love is like...and I'm thankful for that

Jackson-you could scream you hate me and it might hurt. . .but it won't change the way I love you.  You can cry and be angry at me...but I will still look into your eyes and know that you have all of me.  You, son, will have many moments of not wanting to speak to me, or not loving me...but that will never change my love for you.  I may get frustrated with you, or need some space, or have to count to 10 to respond to your anger...but,

Jackson,

I will never stop loving you.

Ever.