Pain

Today I'm supposed to be thankful for pain according to this little 30 day thing.  Isn't it amazing how we are usually grateful for suffering after it happens.  The reflection said to think of a time of suffering and how God was with you in that pain...

Funny this is that's really easy now that the suffering is over.  Of course I can see the blessing in the pain now but in the moment...not always the case.

I think the most recent 'season' of suffering for me, which for many people is really not a big deal, was the year long process of trying to get pregnant.  I say that knowing that there are people who go years and lifetimes without ever being able to conceive...and I can't imagine that kind of pain...but for me as of late, this was a real challenge to understand.  I cried out to the Lord more in that year than I have in a long time...

And now, of course, I have a healthy, beautiful baby girl.  I'm so thankful.  And I'm thankful for the suffering...I'm thankful for the pain of each month not knowing if this was going to be a road I would walk forever...because it was a clear reminder that this life isn't mine.  My plans may not be what the Lord has in store for me.  It helps me to remember that He has a much better vision for me than I could imagine for myself...

And through that painful process of letting go, we got to enjoy another year with our little man solo.  We were allowed extra time with Jackson and I think it was so worth it for him and us.  Many moments I won't forget...

So thank you God, for the pain...I pray that I will always welcome what you bring forth.  Psalm 23.